The Snow Walrus

If you know me well enough, you know that I enjoy bringing "out of the ordinary" things to school. My decision to bring this item to school changed the way we viewed school completely. The item was? You may ask. Well the items were a twin set of walkie talkies. My little sister had gotten them for Christmas (last year). I decided it would be funny to actually act out of of me and MOW's (friend from school that I will not reveal the name of so I will  call her MOW) awesome dialect. It went like this: * disclaimer, the person who I was mocking had a Russian accent and since I can't do a good one it sounded bad. Russian's I love your accents, they sound cool. Please don't get offended!*

Me: *really bad Russian accent* 11 to 14
MOW: *american accent* Yes?
Me: *really bad Russian accent* Bring in ze dogs
We thought it would be really funny to reenact that over walkie talkies. Apparently we didn't know how walkie talkies worked. In case you don't know, they work like this.
1. Select which network you want to use.
2. Tell the people you want to connect with what network you're using.
3. ANYONE ELSE WHO IS USING THAT NETWORK CAN HEAR YOU!!!
4. THEY CAN ALSO SPEAK BACK!
5. If you're doing this at a school with very few networks, you WILL choose one that is being used.
Of course we didn't know this. We choose the network 1 and 1 which we didn't think people would use. So I walked away from MOW to do the little play. When I checked to see if the connection worked, MOW said her full name, which sounds very different when the network is static-y. The person responded, Who is this "Snow Walrus" and Why are you on our network!!! We freaked out and put our walkie talkies away, but now whenever I'm bored I call MOW the Snow Walrus.

Привет Россия!!!

Я просто понял, что мой блог (Zambogotorious) очень популярен в России! Так что я просто хотел сделать этот пост в языке, который вы, ребята, понимаете.Я надеюсь, что вы действительно наслаждаюсь мой блог и что вы будетераспространять слово во всей стране! Я был так взволнован, чтобы видеть, что люди из России (Один из моих любимых стран) vistits моем сайте. Я надеюсь, вы продолжите наслаждаться мой блог! If you speak English and you have no clue what I just said you can either ask someone Russian or you can put it in google translate...   Так в любом случае, спасибо России за поддержку! Я люблю вас, ребята!Оставьте меня в комментарии говорил мне, если то, что я только что сказалкакой-то смысл. <3

My Friends are Jerks!

This post specifically goes out to Daqx27...! Ok, Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends. (Even Daqx27) Even the best friends can be mean and scary sometimes. *cough* DAQX27 *cough* So I was getting my Trumpet out of my locker in band when suddenly a Daqx27 runs up from behind me, screams in my ear and runs away. I am scared of things that move fast and make loud noises... Therefore a flying, screaming, neon colored Daqx27 isn't really my cup of tea. I reacted like this;

 So after I recover from my heart attack, I can get up and move again. At the very end of class this usually happens again with different results. Instead of me dying from a heart attack, this is what happens. It's pretty much the same but I end up about 30 feet in the air freaking out over the Daqx27 that just attacked me! If you've ever been scared so badly that you almost defied the laws of basic physics, then you understand what was going through my mind. It was like a heart attack for my brain. I don't think I have been more terrified in my entire life. This is a picture of me after Daqx27 did one of his daily drive buys;

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Daqx27! But sometimes he's scary! Most of the times he almost kills me with scariness I'm running across chairs, standing on step ladders, or holding a 40 pound tuba. I will either drop the  Tuba, fall off the chairs, or get CUT BY A STEP LADDER!!! This will result in catastrophic failure or a loud clattering noise and a now gnarled tuba. I have literally dropped my tuba so many times that I have to use the older Tuba to compensate for the one that I keep denting. I blame DAQX27!!! for this fail. Sometimes he thinks it's funny (which it kinda is) to unscrew the pegs that supports the unwieldy hunk of metal that I use as an instrument. I don't want to obliterate my Tuba so I try to not let him touch the tuba stand... But somehow he always gets it. When I run across the chairs (Yeah, I know chairs are for sitting) to get to the other side of the classroom, he'll sometimes pull out the next chair that I'm about to run on, causing the most egregious event to happen. If you have ever walked off a diving board blind folded, you know how I felt at the moment.    I was in such a state of shock I screamed... Really loudly. So in a nutshell, I love Daqx27 and like all my other friends I would die for him. However he's a little JERKISH sometimes... Jk, That's just Daqx27... And he's awesome right down to the core! <3 you!!!

Adventures in the Family Bathroom at the Mall

At our mall, we have 3 different bathrooms; Men, Women, and Family. Me and my "Aunt" decided to use the family bathroom because the women's bathroom had a thousand year long line and we didn't feel like waiting. So we enter the bathroom and we can only stare at the inside. It was HUGE! The bathroom was pretty much a kitchen, living room, bathroom combination. There was a MICROWAVE, a TV, and all the things a normal bathroom has. We decided to watch the rest of the Greenbay/ Tampa game. The Packers were up by about twelve by the time we noticed the score. Me, being the Packers fan that I am, started yelling at the T.V. for the football players to "play better" or "run faster". Now remember this is a BATHROOM that little kids and their mothers use, every five minutes or so, a mother would walk in with her kid while I was yelling at the T.V. The scene probably looked something like this;

Every time someone would walk in, I would pretend to be normal and run back to my chair and sit down. The person would proceed to do what ever the were doing and leave, then I would get up and start being weird again. This happened about 15 times and I managed to actually scare a mother and her child away with my  weirdness powers. After the Packers DOMINATED the Bucs as I knew they would. We both got into the white van and drove away. In the car we played the app on my Tablet called abduction. We had to get a cow to the top of a level and make it into a spaceship. It doesn't really make sense that abduction means "Forced taking" and the cow is TRYING to be abducted. Logically the game should be called "Get lured into a spaceship by jumping on pieces of grass in the sky" But that doesn't exactly have the same ring to it... So I guess abduction is fine. Before I finish writing this blog I promised to put one of my friends blogs in here... soooooo, Here's the link  http://stuffontheinterwebs.blogspot.com/  Yeah, Just click on that thingy...
So anyways, That's what I do with my "Aunt" whenever we go to the mall... We're really weird and we're proud of it! :D

The School Dress Code is Stupid

First off, I would just like to say that some real annoying stuff has been happening in my school that involves their natzi rules of how to dress. The school says we should express ourselves freely and they even teach about the certain freedoms we have as American citizens. This brings me back to my original statement, THE SCHOOL DRESS CODE IS RIDICULOUS! My favorite thing about this is where the dress code in my student handbook says "We encourage you to dress the way you would like to but you must adhere to the following rules and guidelines." That's like me saying "I hope you enjoy my blog, but please don't enjoy it too much because I'm going to punish you if you like it too much." So I wear a fedora. A hat from the 1930's - 1960's. I love my hat, it's the coolest thing in the entire world. I CAN'T WEAR IT BECAUSE OF DRESS CODE! So my hat isn't allowed because it's classified as a "cap". My hat is not a cap. It's a classy 1930's hat that only sophisticated people wore. But noooooo! It's still a "CAP". That word offends every person to ever wear a fedora. Also, I'm in my schools jazz band. In case you haven't made this connection, I will work it out for you. Fedora = Jazz hat. If I'm in jazz band I'm allowed to wear my hat. Here's what I hate. Our volleyball team wears some really short shorts while playing. THEY'RE ALLOWED TO WEAR THEIR UNIFORMS DURING SCHOOL!!! This annoys me so much. Personally I think that shorts that reveal their bums are a lot worse then a hat. This is how I see it.

So anyways that's just MY troubles. One of my friends, I shall call her Shortmann, dyed her hair different colors. The colors were extremely light and not very noticeable. I couldn't actually get a light enough color to show what the streaks looked like. The were about 10x less bright and not even a distraction to anyone. She was yelled at and told to dye her hair a different color. AGAIN! So she had to dye her hair brown. This is pretty much what happened at school the next day;

So this is why the dress code is stupid. I can't wear my hat, Shortmann can't dye her hair LIGHT colors, but the volleyball team can go walking around the school half naked. Good call school bored, good call.
   

Why?

I have been promising some of my friends blog posts, here's yours Scarpinato;
Scarpinato always asks why. Every single day he asks "why?" to something you will say. For instance, If I were to say "Scarpinato, I made a blog!" He'll reply "Why?" So I decided to make a blog post about him saying "Why" in various careers. And Scarpinato if you're reading this, It's because I think it would be funny.
So here's how I imagine Scarpinato as a doctor;

Here's him as a hairstylist.

Here's Scarpinato as a lifeguard;

 And my personal favorite, Scarpinato as a Firefighter;

As you can clearly see, Scarpinato's only line EVER is "Why?" He also does pretty random things such as LICKING BANANAS!!! This, to him, is "completely normal" and he does it all the time. I thought it was hilarious so I decided to draw you a picture of what it looks like. I also decide to surround the picture with additional items Scarpinato enjoys, because it is my picture and I can do what I want with it.

So Scarpinato, I would just like to let you know that band, lunch, and school in general wouldn't be the same with out you! So here was your post I promised you, and I hope you enjoyed it. Shoot! Never mind I lied! I promised one more picture! Scarpinato was telling me and some other losers I call friends about when he was little and he went to the doctor. The nurse asked him if he ever had an ant bite before to try to compare the feeling of pain or something. This is what happened according to Scarpinato;

There! As promised! YOU'RE WELCOME SCARPINATO!!! :D I hope you enjoyed this post!

PARTYYYY!!! (part 2)

The next party I went to had lots more people attending. It looked like someone had invited every singe person I knew. There was music and various game tables scattered across the floor. As I panned the room I saw someone I wanted to talk to. Since I don't like revealing names on my blog I think I'll call him Daqx27. So I spotted him being awkward in a corner, he's from Virginia so he didn't know too many people there. spotted an air hockey from across the room. Thus the battle begot.

We played until seven point and I won. Daqx27 challenged me to a rematch, which I also won. One more rematch occurred. A team rematch. Me and my boyfriend vs. Him and His Friend. We begun the match with cheers and lots of yelling. The match went on for about 4-5 minutes and it seemed like it would never end. The score was 6-6 when suddenly... *click* the opposing team made it into our goal and they scored. It was very depressing and my next interaction went something like this;

So After I had yelled at as many people as I could with out getting security called, We were called over to eat cake and do other festive activities. We used poppers, those things with the string in one end and happyness in the other. Anyways you pull the string and Confettie explodes out and it's fun. It also makes a loud noise. We turned the music up and sat down to eat cake. Since chairs are too main stream for us to put our bums on, we sat on one of those HUGMOUNGOUS bass speakers. We realized that every time the bass made a sound the speaker vibrated. Since we were sitting on the speaker our bums tickled and it felt really funny. This is probably what Lewis's parents saw when we were sitting on the Bass. 

We got some pretty weird looks all around but it was totally worth it. It was time to go so I was picked up in the same white van. Then I was driven home and I fell asleep after all of the awesome parties I went to.

PARTYYYY!!!

So today I went to two different types of parties. Here's the people who were at the first one;

And here's pretty much what we did for 3 hours;

We also played Super Mario Smash Brothers.  I was Kirby, And everyone else was Captain Falcon. I liked to eat all of them and then Falcon Punch them off the leaf stage that we were on. Occasionally a random bug looking thingy would come and try to eat us. This is how most of the games went;

When we did eventually change characters and stages I was still Kirby, Putnam was a green Kirby, Campbell was a robot guy with lots of arms named Rob or something and Jackson was Mr. Game and Watch. My favorite part was when Jackson got a pretty looking sphere and he turned into an octopus; The hilarity ensues;

Jackson made his normal bacon flipping guy into a HUGE octopus that killed like everyone. If you touched its tentacles, you died. The octopus took up like 70% of the screen! Eventually Jackson killed us all and we decided to watch the Pineview MTV show about Mr. Pineview. It was hilarious... These people were kinda annoying in their own "special" way. Ok I'm not going to lie. They looked like 40 year old men that constantly used the word "Swag" or "Swagger" They wore low cut shirts and ties. The whole thing was a hot mess.

 After we watched the hot mess show I worked on this very blog post and my ride appeared. Not to get off topic, but the car I left in was a white van... That probably looked weird to the 3 people at the party. So this was part one of the "PARTYYYY!!!" blog and the next part will show up soon! Comment any way you think I can make my blog better, suggestions, If i know you, Comment your last name and first initial and I'll make a post about you ;) Add me on Facebook. Tuba Epic is the account you guys can reach me at, and I hope you enjoyed my post today!

What Happens In Band on a Daily Basis

I love my band, I think we're the best band in the entire world, however my band teacher thinks we could be a bit better behaved.So I decided to describe what we do in band class and compare it to how our teacher thinks we're doing. The day starts off like this;

Listening Logs are pieces of paper that have lots of songs written on them. Everyday our teacher (Mrs. Lewis) plays a song for us as we're walking it the band classroom. We have to write down what song is playing every single day. Then we prep our instruments. I play the Tuba and Trumpet in band. I'm a little forgetful so sometimes I'll forget my tuba's mouthpiece or my music. If this happens I ask for the original copy of music or the spare mouthpiece. This is how I THINK the conversation SHOULD go;

However my band teacher thinks that forgetting something is a federal crime and this is how it REALLY happens;

After being scolded for wasting class time I usually go and get my trumpet because I don't want to just sit there and look weird. I love my trumpet and there are actually other trumpet players in my band with music. When I get out of the locker room with my trumpet ready she reacts like this;

Another thing that happens often in band is dropping things. The people who drop things the most are our percussionists, they have butterfingers when it comes to holding things. Usually they just drop really "expensive" things like the "WOODEN BLOCK" or the "TAMBOURINE" which apparently costs TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. She gets really mad when they drop things, like this

Apparently that's only what we see. What she thinks we're doing looks something like this;

Our band teacher isn't bad, she just over reacts sometimes. So even though we get yelled at for dropping and forgetting things, I still love my band class because band is family.

 

The Epic Battle of Me Vs. People with Awesome Hair

Have you ever known a person with really gelled up hair? Like not just gelled... Spiked. It looks so awesome that you just want to reach out and touch it. Then your brain stops thinking about socially accepted ways of life and you touch the spiky hair. Then you're addicted to the persons hair. You have become their slave. A good example of this is my boyfriend. He has THE AWESOMEST HAIR IN THE UNIVERSE!!! How did I find this out? I felt his hair... It was one of the more awkward moments in life, but it was totally worth it. From that day forth I made it my mission to spike (touch his hair when it was spiked) every single day. He made it his goal to make sure I didn't touch his hair. So whenever I saw him our interaction went something like this;

He ends up bending backward and escapes narrowly by poking me in the stomach and running away. So I have to improve my strategy of hair spiking... So I thought and thought and thought and just when I was about to give up, an idea formed in my brain!

I got my friend to go on my boyfriends other side so that she could spike his hair at the same time I did. He would either have to fly or sink to get away from us. This was working until he decided to UNSPIKE his hair!!! One day my boyfriend came to school without his hair spiked. And what happened sounded something like this.
Me: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR!?!?!?
Boyfriend: I didn't spike it this morning so you would stop PETTING me
Me: It's not petting it's SPIKING
Boyfriend: So you're going to stop because my hair isn't spiked anymore.
Me: ...
This is what happened after about a minute of thinking.

So in all my boyfriend doesn't spike his hair anymore but instead he has really really soft hair. He also learned that I am too stubborn to give in to this Epic Battle of Me Vs. People with Awesome Hair thing.

What Is Wrong With 3rd Graders?!?!?!?!

When I was in the 3rd grade I had asthma. I couldn't really run on the play ground as fast as other kids during the Winter seasons. (That's when my asthma was really showing) So some people noticed that I wasn't running as much and someone asked what was going on. I told them I has asthma. There reaction was something like this. 

 So they started telling everyone how asthma was a terrible, incurable illness that could never be cured and I was going to die and stuff. I have no idea what they were talking about but I knew it wasn't contagious. I tried to tell the other kids it wasn't contagious but this happened; 

Since these people would never stop and listen to me, I had no one to play with on the play ground anymore so I had to use the swings or just walk around alone. I was pretty lonely until my asthma finally went away. I have no idea why my asthma went away. Maybe God wanted to cease the torture I went through while walking the playground fence alone everyday. This is how I imagine it;

 After my asthma cleared up the other kids played with me as if it had never happened. Now looking back at the experience I realize that 3rd graders aren't the smartest kids in the Elementary School and you should never admit to having asthma around people who don't know what it is.  

What's Zambogotorious?

So in the 5th Grade our Teacher paired us up with people we didn't really know. My partner's name was Emma. We thought our teacher was weird... So the Assignment was to create words and give them a meaning. My word was Chawazulm, meaning awesome or better the something else. Her word was Zambogotorious, meaning outrageous or strange. I liked her word better so I decided to name my blog after it... So Emma if you're reading this, I really liked your word. So anyways I've never done a blog before and I was inspired by my friends who do some other blogs and stuff like that. One of my personal favorites is Burke. Here's the link to his blog.

burke-blog-burke.blogspot.com

Check it out, I hope you enjoy it.