Tuesday, October 1, 2013

5 Stupid Teachers That Everyone Has

Lately I've been noticing that there are 5 types of awful teachers that make school suck. Here they are.

5. The one that calls on you when they know damn well that yo ass wasn't paying attention.

     This type of teacher prays on the weak and unknowledgeable and completely ignores the students raising their hands to answer the original question. This devalues the gesture of hand raising. Why even raise your hand? You know you're not going to be called on. However if you're talking to someone you will be called on. You didn't ask for this. If you wanted to be called on you would have raised your hand. How am I supposed to know the answer? Oh wait. I don't. And you knew that teacher. So why did you call on me? Because you're an asshole. You're not a teacher. The only thing you teach is "life lessons". Bullshit. The only way to defeat this monster of a teacher is to establish a partnership with the person sitting closest to you. When teacher asks a question and you aren't paying attention your partner will signal you the answer and vice versa.

4. The one that makes up stories that make him/her sound tough or cool.
  
     I have had a billion of these. They think we actually care about their personal lives, but in reality, we only listen to waste class time. If a teacher tells a personal story the best thing you can do is sit there and listen. If you want to waste more class time then you can ask more about their personal lives but it's stupid because I would much rather learn about the properties of squares then listen to your trip to the store.

3. The one that teaches straight out of the textbook.

     This is probably the worst thing a teacher can do. It shouts "I'm not creative and I'm super boring". He begins class with "Take out your textbook" and ends the class with "Put your textbooks away". He reads straight from the textbook and has trouble discussing anything without a tight grip on his textbook. The textbook is like his life source, without it, he is nothing. Without him the textbook is nothing. He makes you take home textbooks that will never be opened. I used my home textbook one time. It was used to kill a bug.

2. The teacher that thinks you spend all your free time studying for his class.

     Newsflash! I Don't. I would rather jam a fork into my hand for entertainment then spend my free time working on boring papers for your class. If you don't spend time after school grading my papers then I'm not going to spend my free time doing your homework. On a related note, it's super irritating that you make us do the whole page of math questions. Can't you just assign like five? Doing 20 problems isn't going to make me understand your lesson any more than doing 5.

1. The one that plays music during class.

I DONT WANT TO LISTEN TO FLUTE SOLOS WHILE I WRITE MY ESSAY. THANK YOU.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The 13 Most Annoying Things on Facebook

On Facebook I've been noticing a lot of bull feathers going on. So I'm going to give you advice on what to post, and what not to post.

1. I don't care about what games you're playing on Facebook... Stop posting things like "Derp got a green cow on Farmville" I don't care about your cow. Even if it is green.
2. Stop telling me to like your photo of a dying child to save it. My like won't save its life. Food will. I'm not food.

3. If you change your last name to Bieber I will delete you. Your last name isn't Bieber. Stop pretending like it is.
4. If you use hash-tags on Facebook you're asking to be punched in the face. Stop it.
5. Guys, stop taking pictures of your "abs".
6. Girls, stop bending over in photos. You look like you've been hit in the stomach with a crowbar and it hurts too much to stand.
7. If I see another duck face...  >:(
8. I do not want to be rated by you. Stop begging for imaginary internet points of approval.
9. If you have an Ipad... Stop taking pictures in mirrors with them. Yes you have an Ipad. Stop bragging that you have more stuff then I do. I'm poor. I can't afford that.
11. Stopppp writin lik dis. I wil hunt u down an finde u.
12. Stop telling me that It's raining. I have a window.


13. This is really annoying. People tag you in these things... and it's like
  I don't even know you. Stop saying you'll love me forever. You're over attached.

Friday, April 12, 2013

OMG WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK! :D

So today in my math class I am approached by a fellow band member and told that we are going on a super cool trip to New York next year! She told me our band director started planning the trip for next year. I have never gone to New York so I'm super excited! Over next spring break our band of 200 plus members will get on an airplane and march in the saint patrick's day parade.

(Band friend telling me about the trip)
OMG GUYS I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!!