Why I Haven't Been Posting :(

Okay. I haven't posted anything in a while and here's why. I was working on this awesome new post that was going to rock the socks off of pelvis thrusting cats. I was going to be super productive and get thing done like the awesome blogger I am.

Apparently I offended someone out there because they sent aliens after me. Big nasty green aliens. With laser guns. They didn't want my post to be posted. I pleaded but they wouldn't let me go. NOT EVEN FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

   They took me across galaxies and finally we touched down on there distant planet. There appeared to be nothing at first but when I looked closer I noticed that the entire planet was underground, to not be troubled by humans or anything. We went underground and the leader threw me into jail with the other prisoners. One of which was Jesus.

   Jesus said he was waiting for someone who would fight against the aliens with him. He slipped me a turbo laser gun of death. Not the only trouble was the bars. I noticed that the illustrator had not drawn the bars perfectly straight like a normal person. The bars were crooked enough to where we could get out. We slipped through the bars and Jesus and I started blasting alien scum like no tomorrow.

 We started to get over-run by aliens. Jesus and I were fighting for our lives when I noticed a button on Jesus's gun. "What does that button do?" I shouted at Jesus. Then the most amazing thing happened! JESUS PUSHED THEE BUTTON AND RAINBOWS OF DEATH SHOT EVERYTHING!! All the aliens were gone.

This post is proof that Jesus is a badass... No... Wait... This post was why I haven't been blogging... Okay... This is why I haven't been blogging.

Because I got lazy... Sorry that I put all the blame on you Aliens...